Manhattan Tourists May be the World’s Most Flattering Online Daters

I can’t decide what I admire more: his grammatical prowess, his sexual potency, or his sheer honesty…

I’m a tourist will be in Manhatten for the next 2 months.
Age:20
Body type: Athletic (professional Judo player)
Clean and with no diesaes. I don’t drink or smoke(this doesn’t mean you have too)

I am full of energy and I do what ever you need during sex time so you can be satisfied.

I’m searching for a girl that I have sex with, hangout with and spend time togther (or just sex even if it is one night stand) in other words FRIENDS WITH BENIFETS. I am more into short girls, asians, older than me women,latins, blue eyed american girls.I like to do wives, girls who are in a relationship and want to cheat and milfs(the three of them just turn me on)…and if you are not one of the previous it doesn’t matter you just have to be beautiful and clean.

So am searching for 18-44 years old women, clean and disease-free,beautiful and great body(I’m not into any big girls or bad bodies) have sex at her own place(I can’t have at my own place because or roommates’ reasons), no money includes or whores/sluts. I will do whatever you need to be satisfied so I am waiting for you to give me good sex time.I can do 2 girls at one time if you have a friend and you want to do that I can do it for sure but she has to be beautiful too.

Friends with benifets will have priorty over one night stands(but if you are super hot one night stand why not ;) . )

I will include a face picture and you should too if you are intrested, and then we will meet first time in a public space and get to know each other a little bit.

- Male, 20

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Hell Hath No Fury Like an Online Dater Scorned on Valentines Day

Man oh man do I love Valentines Day. Terrible online dating messages from disgruntled daters come flowing in like milk and honey. Today’s message is particularly special because we can actually observe how the sender’s level of frustration escalates as we get closer and closer to the big V-Day.

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How to Turn Any OkCupid Message — Even the Weirdest — Into a Date

For a more nuanced explanation of how to convert dating messages into in-person dates, reach out on our sister blog, Dateworking.com

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Punctuation Matters

Either this guy is really well-endowed in the pants, or really poorly-endowed in the head. I guess those two aren’t mutually exclusive, though…

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Damsel in Distress Over the Paltry Quality of Her Suitors

though I have slain many dragons, been turned into a frog, and even freed a unicorn I’m finally here. But i don’t understand why you had to be in this tall ass tower, It’s kinda messed up…I’d appreciate if you came down this frog thing is cramping my style :p

- Male, 23

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To hit a girl, or hit ON a girl — that is the question

If you look at my profile, you’ll likely see that I live nowhere near Korea. I was on here looking for people in Korea though so I might find someone to talk to since I’m trying to learn it. From looking over your profile, it seems like you are probably not that person, but you do seem intersting and I like your sense of humor. Plus I like that you practice Taekwondo. If I ever had to punch you in the face I wouldn’t even have to feel bad about hitting a girl (not that that would stop me, mind you). So if that makes me sound ultra enticing, message me back if you want to talk. And now I feel like now I should say, just kidding, I don’t hit girls…usually…

- Male, 21

The moral of this story, obviously, is:

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Willy Wonka’s Girlfriend Wants to Taste Your Rainbow

hey there i was wondering if you would like to come over some time and chill. my bf and i like to play a game where he eats skittles off of my body its alot of fun. well i was wondering if you would like to join us in our fun. we are not looking for sex mainly i want you and him to eat the skittles off of me and then me and him will eat the skittles off of you.

- Female, 19

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Random Creeper Uses Impregnate! It’s Not Very Effective!

To be honest the first thing I thought when I saw you was “oh how I would love to impregnate her!” and I can never really tell why, I think you trigger my breeding desire based on a sort of loving, maternal feeling you seem to give off.

- Male, 36

Maybe Todd Akin could give this guy some advice on what happens when ignorant males try to reduce women to walking fetus factories (hint: they get rejected).

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Thanks for the love advice, dipshit

Yes, you can meet and fall in love with someone over the innetret just as easily or if not easier than meeting someone in everyday life. The innetret makes it easy for people who are normally shy in person meeting the opposite sex. I am very shy when it comes to meeting or talking to men in public. The interent makes it easy for me to talk to and be myself without being nervous. As long as you take your time getting to know someone and are always honest, you too can find love, no matter where you met them. Good luck

- Unknown gender, unknown age

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Girls Suck at Sending Messages, Too

~~HERE COMES AN ANGRY RANT FROM A GUEST CONTRIBUTOR~~

The following are the last three messages in my inbox from females. (For the record, I am listed as bi, female.)

aloha :]
My name is lily,
want to be friends? >.<
- Female, 20

Aww you are really cute :)
- Female, 25

Hi lovely,
I like your profile and photos :)
Would you like to meet for a drink after work Friday?
Kisses Xx
- Female, 30

The biggest problem is? These women are all very attractive in their photos. Look, they even have boobies!

Okay, ladies. Let me tell you something. Just because you are attractive and a girl does not mean you don’t have to try. I bet some guys will respond to you anyways, but you are messaging a girl– a girl who explicitly states she will ignore your message if it sucks. You do not get a pass because you are cute.

/rant

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